Mehbark's voice box

I wanted to describe the origins and variations of some phrases that I often say to myself and others (mostly myself), so I did. Try and stop me (actually please don't you'd probably succeed).

Thaaaaaat’s politics!

Bear guy in Snowdin says it in Undertale. Twice, apparently! He then returns in Deltarune to say it again.

These are short, funny jokes, but I just repeat the punchline until it's meaningless. It's fun to say and it fits when literally anything happens. You can even change the “politics” part!

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush

I have no clue where I got this from. It's in the 1893 classic A Hand-book of Proverbs, but believe it or not, I haven't read this before!

This phrase is a case of it's kinda funny because it's true. It has a lot of room for inane variation, for example:

• “A bird in the hand is worth two bushes.”
• “What is a bird in the bush worth to you? A bird in the hand?”
• “Birds!! Hands! Bird in the hand two birds.”

And it combines well with other phrases.

Everybody learns to read, but nobody knows how to read a book

A complete original. It's so stupid (it's not even true!) that you can say it whenever and it won't make any less sense. I believe this is a variation of “learn to read a book,” which is a destabilizingly incongruous (non-)insult.

• “Everybody learns to read, but nobody knows what bird in the hand even is.”
• “You know how to learn to read, but do you know what a book is?”
• “Everybody learns to read a book!” (in a particularly silly voice)

man, computers are incredible

Said sincerely over five years ago in a Discord guild I haven't been in for over three years. I kept saying it every day. For half a decade. I made a Discord guild to keep saying it, and it's the only one I still regularly use.

And I still mean it.

If you were wondering, I write it in the Discord app on my phone before I go to sleep and send the message when I wake up; it only takes a few taps to write thanks to Gboard.

Learning is important

Original. True, but sounds silly. You can say it when you learn or figure something out, especially when it's something small.

Variations:

• “Learning is so important.”
• “It's so important to learn what a book is.”